The Creation of Human Emotion/The Oreo Cookie--River Otter

In the very beginning, there were four beings. The God, The Angel, The Demon, and The Human.


The God was the only one of the four who was born with knowledge of emotions. And though all of the beings were equally powerful and intelligent, The God soon became very bored with the monotony.

So, one day, The God left its house with a small bag in its left and right hands. The bags were marked ‘Love’ and ‘Hate’ respectively. And The God went to meet the three other beings.

As the four beings all stood together, The God said, “My friends, I love you all dearly, but I have become bored.” And though the other three did not understand what ‘love’ and ‘bored’ meant, they listened intently to The God.

First, The God took The Angel aside. It reached into each bag and extracted a small, dark disc from each.

To The Angel, The God said, “In my left hand, I hold Love, which will make you at peace with the world. In my right, I hold Hate, which will give you power to have dominion over the world. I want to you choose one and consume it.” And The Angel took Love from The God’s hand and consumed it. And The Angel was at peace with the world.

Next, The God spoke to The Demon. “In my left hand, I hold Love, which will make you at peace with the world. In my right, I hold Hate, which will give you power to have dominion over the world. I want to you choose one and consume it.” And The Demon took Hate from The God’s hand and consumed it. And The Demon had the power to have dominion over the world.

Finally, The God spoke to The Human. “In my left hand, I hold Love, which will make you at peace with the world. In my right, I hold Hate, which will give you power to have dominion over the world. I want to you choose one and consume it.”

The Human paused and thought. Finally, it said, “That is all you have?” The God was surprised at the question. The Human continued, “I have observed far more than these in you. Where are those?” The God, impressed with The Human’s observance, curiosity, and intuition said, “These are my most powerful. But would you like to see more?”

The Human nodded and followed The God to its house. The God opened its cupboard and inside was bottles filled with emotions of all colors imaginable. The Human looked at each one carefully.

Then, The Human asked The God, “Can I borrow a large pot, please?” The God fetched a large cauldron as The Human started a fire on the stove and took a bottle of each emotion from the cupboard. The Human placed the pot over the fire and poured a small amount from each bottle into it. Then The Human stirred, and stirred, and stirred until the contents of the cauldron became a thick, white amalgamation of emotions. The God watched The Human, fascinated.


“Now, may I have Love and Hate?” said The Human. The God handed The Human one of each of the black discs and with a spoon, The Human spread a small amount of the other emotions between the two discs, sandwiching them. And it was this concoction that The Human then consumed. The Human gained every emotion.

And The Human could be at peace with the world or have dominion over it, but unlike The Angel and The Demon, The Human, as a result of all of the other emotions, had the ability to choose which.

The Human also got the idea for a badass sandwich cookie in the process.