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Sunday, October 2, 2011

The Requirements For Performing A Head Spin, Calvin Fantone

-Flavor Flav

1) Understand your motivation.

Do you really want to become a b-boy
or are you just trying to impress that girl?
Don’t lie to yourself.
You know you just want to impress that girl.

2) Learn the terminology.

The proper term is “breaking” not
“break dancing,” a group is called
a crew, and a windmill isn’t a machine
on the side of the freeway that converts
wind into energy, it’s a dance move.

3) Be a gentleman.

You don’t want to piss off a girl
with enough upper body strength
to do lifts and freezes. She is entirely
capable of killing you with her bare hands.
4) Dress in proper attire.

Try to look like you fit in but don’t go overboard.
Stay away from tracksuits, shell toe Adidas, Kangol hats,
and big ass gold chain necklaces. They make you look
like the long lost son of Mr. T. This is not the 80s
and sadly, you are not a member of Run DMC.

5) Come up with the corniest pick up line you can possibly imagine. Then use it.

For example:
Girl, I know you love sick beats.
So I thought you should know that
my heartbeat is lovesick for you.”
She’ll probably laugh in your face and say,
Nice try” but she’ll say it with a smile
and the slightest hint of red in her cheeks
and you’ll finally know what it takes
to make your head spin.

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