Sex With Strangers, MaryAnne Kolton

she had sex with strangers
because of her madness
because of their sadness
because of the pain it caused her

she had sex with strangers
who slapped her a little and hurt her a lot
who showed her a good time and with some
who had nothing worth knowing to say

she had sex with strangers
to teach them a lesson
to search for a truth
to get some attention

she had sex with strangers
when they were sweet
when they were mean and
when she felt threatened by reality

she had sex with strangers
when she needed to be held
when it was too late to say no
when she turned and saw her mother in the room

she had sex with strangers
to shut them up
to calm them down
to keep her illusions intact

she had sex with strangers
because they were something
because she was nothing
because of the empty inside

she had sex with strangers
some of them wore her clothes
some of them tore her clothes and with
some who insisted she was crazy

she had sex with strangers
calling her child
calling her woman
calling her child-like mother whore

she had sex with strangers
sometimes on clean sheets
sometimes on no sheets and
sometimes on her hands and knees, in cars with God

she had sex with strangers
with those who had visions
those who had children and once
with someone who could not stop hurting himself

she had sex with strangers
to force retribution
as an Act of Contrition, a form of confession and
to keep them from knowing her pain

she had sex
with friends and neighbors
husbands and lovers
priests and policemen and
fathers and brothers

somebodies, nobodies
rock bands and football teams
but always, all ways
she had sex with strangers