Anyway, damn shame we’re late to the party (fashionably late, as always), since as we were slamming this issue together we realized it had a theme. Now normally, we decide on the February issue’s theme in advance, but as you might be able to tell advance knowledge is not our strong point anymore. But it does appear almost everything in this issue converges like a correctly-done calculus equation on one theme: Quirky, quirky love.
Now you say, ladies, you have this on the brain because you’re both in quirky love affairs (though, as documented tirelessly, not with each other because Laura would choke Liz to death with a freakishly long blond braid in about three weeks. She may do so anyway because she thinks Liz needs to stop writing about our love lives in the Editrice Notes, and then Liz says, “you’re not the boss of me!” and then crying and raging and broken pencils and boxes of make-up chocolate ensue). Point taken. But…but…seriously. Handwriting experts love Jack the Ripper. A poet loves an orangutan. A mother loves a giant pulsating blood clot. People have wild sex on a parallel Earth. Love sets stuff on fire. A writer tries to impress girls with bad poetry…oh wait, haven’t we heard that one before? Well, and dinosaurs. Wait, we’ve had that too. Can’t imagine who fell in love because of dinosaurs (cough cough LAURA cough cough).
Prepare for a deluge of questionable behavior and questionable compliments, such as “The pimple on the side of your nose, it’s too cute/To hide beneath that mineral powder.” (Again, nothing new. Editrice Liz hears that every Wednesday.) And let us take this opportunity to remind you that we love you in a way only two girls and a gender-confused Toucan with an otherwise excellent sense of balance can love. If you are the submissive type (which we really didn’t need to know, thanks), send us a piece of dominant writing at firstname.lastname@example.org. To make sure your token of affection isn’t too out there, check out our guidelines at www.thetoucanonline.blogspot.com And you can love us in your own special way by becoming our Facebook fan. We post lots of fun random stuff on our page, and we’ll almost always give you a poem of the week.
Now back to playing video games and ukuleles, and pretending we didn’t just write about our love lives in the Toucan again. Do you know these people? Neither do we.
Yours ‘til the chocolate chips, Liz and Laura, Toucan Editrices