Welcome Eager Readers! (And Writers)

Thanks for stopping by. Please read our "About" page for some more information and please look over our submission guidelines that are on the right before submitting.

Enjoy, and Viva La Toucan

Laura, Toucan Editrice

Thursday, May 3, 2012

A Name You Can Trust, Kato Harris

            Indignant? Disgruntled? Need an attorney who won't back down (no matter how many mafia hit men are on your trail)? Need to sue the smirk off that jerk who dared to diagnose you with anger issues? Tired of “justice” getting in the way of the benefits that you deserve? If you want passionate, aggressive, and ruthlessly persistent legal representation, it’s time you called Winier Trust, an attorney who will stop at nothing (nothing!) to insure you win your case.
            Winier Trust is more than just an attorney; he's your personal advocate. Trust works beside you not only as a legal representative, but as a close and caring friend.
            "When I first called Mr. Trust to handle my divorce case, I was in such a state,” says teacher Margery Williams. “Mr. Trust was a bastion of sage wisdom and compassion. He put me at ease from the moment he arrived. Panicked, I once called Mr. Trust in the middle of the night and asked him for his guidance. No more than ten seconds later, I heard the bell and there stood Mr. Trust right at my doorstep. After he and I had done each other's nails and hashed things out over two tubs of mint chocolate chip ice cream, my worries had melted away! In my time of need, Mr. Trust was more than just my lawyer, he was like my best gal pal -er, my cherished confidante, that is.”

            "With our firm," says Mr. Trust, "there's virtually nothing you can't get out of. As for your opponents, they won't get away with anything. I’m here to help you, and my sole mission in life is to insure that you’re safe, protected, and well represented.”
            There is no case too big or too small for the Winier Trust Law Firm, and Winier Trust's aptitude for your defense has been apparent since childhood.
            "Everything was a debate with Winier," says Trust's father, Alan Trust. "He had a knack for persuasion and a real eye for detail. I knew he hadn't cleaned his room, yet our arguments so often ended with me apologizing to him. There the mess would be, right before my eyes; but what would I do? Why, I’d hand him a shiny new penny and shoo him off to the candy store! I can't even begin to tell you how many times he had our little Suzy in tears thinking she'd made his messes. He’d have her convinced she’d shamed the whole family and was going to wind up in jail. Yes, the way I see it, it was only a matter of time before Winier attended law school and did his dad proud."
            "When we were kids, I used to pick on Winier," Noah Trust, Trust's cousin, confesses. "I’d call him all kinds of names. Then, when he was about eight, Winier up and sued me for libel. Rest assured, I never picked on him again."
            No matter what game you play, you can trust Trust on your home team.
            "Yes, fancy words like ‘stop’ and ‘no’ never dampened little Winier's spirit," says Trust's childhood basketball coach, Tim Grady. "He never stopped fighting for his team, even when there was nothing to fight. Even after the buzzer rang and refs screamed, ‘Stop! For the love of all that's good! Stop!’  Winier just . . . kept on fighting. After all the lights had gone out. . . and well into the night. Even after all the rest of us had called it quits and gone home. Heck, I’d go to bed, get up the next morning, and he’d still be on the field, just a’fightin’ away. Against what, we may never know. But that's when I knew we had a star attorney on our hands."
            How right Mr. Grady was!
            "I learned a valuable lesson that day,”  Mr. Trust reflects in his award-winning autobiography Now My Prosecutor Pays Me. “Life’s about principles, and just about everything will try to get in the way of those principles. Protecting our cherished beliefs in this topsy-turvy world we call modern law can be tricky. That’s why I’m committed to taking care of these obstacles on behalf of my hard-working clients.”
            Why take our word for it? Just listen to what some of Winier Trust’s  happy clients have to say about his work.
            "I'd used the Trust Firm previously to settle a dispute with my noisy neighbor," says bank teller Charlotte Smith, "and, let me tell you, Mr. Trust sticks to his motto: ‘Any time you need me, any place you need me.’ At first, I was skeptical. How could one man really be there at any time and at any place for all of his clients? One off-handed phone call erased all doubt.”
            “I phoned Mr. Trust on my way to work,” Smith explains. “I’d been pulled over for speeding. Mr. Trust was on a flight to Denmark at the time. ‘I'm on it,’ he says, and I hear a click. I thought I'd lost the call; but, not more than ten minutes later, the officer and I marveled as a wayward parachuter -Mr. Trust-  drifted onto the scene, holding a typed defense claim. Needless to say, that's one ticket I won't be paying!”
            Even Mr. Trust’s personal assistant, Gregory Meinwrath, was once a troubled client. “I was just another ordinary, down-on-his-luck ex-trapeze artist. I originally hired Mr. Trust to take care of my debt problem. During my private consultation, Mr. Trust personally went through every legal document in my possession and alerted me to a dozen -a dozen- ways I'd been traumatized, and I didn't even know it! My back taxes got paid, my debt was solved, and I got to experience the rush of genuine anger and righteous indignation. Yes, my problems started out as nobody’s but my own; but, with Mr. Trust’s help, I turned my personal problems in everyone’s problem. And so can you!”
            But noisy neighbors, government back-tax, and divorce settlements aren’t the only cases Winier Trust can settle. He also has his hand on keeping private healthcare free of fraud and monopoly.
            “You know how those pesky conspiracies -conspiracies like modern medicine, doctors, and the FDA- love to make light of an honest man’s work,” says Mr. Sylvester Blinkworth of Blinkworth’s Old Fashioned Elixirs Corp. “Any true naturalist knows that purple is the color of divine health, and losing a toe is the first sign that my medicine is doing it’s job. It’ll grow right back within the first three months. Yeah, when the ol’ government hounds got on my back for  ‘too many negative side effects,’ I thought the days of Mr. Blinkworth’s Magic Ointment were over, but Mr. Trust saw to it that my product stayed on the market, where it can continue to serve thousands of ailing customers. Thanks to Mr. Trust, business is booming. Another great triumph in the war for the common man’s health!”
            So, sue your mother. Sue your brother. Sue the very forces of nature. With Winier Trust, you know you're right.

            Maybe you know you’ve been wronged, but can’t place your finger on exactly how. Let Winier Trust place his finger on it for you!
            "I've been around for eighty-seven years and I'm no dummy," says the elderly Mrs. Nancy Dale of Marsh County, Minnesota. She is a proud home owner and tax-payer who, only last Tuesday, won her case against Pierre’s Sub Shop with help from the Trust Firm. "I already know the world is out to get me, and even innocent-looking cashiers are in on the deal. Think she's got to charge you for those two cups of extra croutons, or deny your coupon just because it's expired?”
            Mrs. Dale’s pauses for breath as the infuriating memories flood back. “Now, I told that cashier. I said, ‘I want the five ninety-nine special for five cents and not a penny more.’ You know what I get? Back-talk! ‘I’m sorry ma’am, we can’t do that‘? I don‘t think so! The younger generation is always taking advantage of the elderly, and trying to cheat us out of our money with their new fangled trends. Trends like --- like sales tax. I can't believe they'd ask an extra ten cents of a poor old woman! Things certainly ain't what they used to be, but Winier Trust is as honest and old-fashioned as they come. He won my case and got back my ten cents. Heh, we sure showed those charlatans!"
            "As an upholder of law, dedicated taxpayer, blood donor, animal lover, charity organizer, and caring citizen,” Trust pledges, “I just can't stand for letting bad things happen to good people."
            A trip to Marsh County Jail punctuates Trust’s promise.
            "I still can’t believe I was falsely imprisoned," says Mr. Gregory Shamblin, former inmate at the prison. "If Winier hadn't stepped in and set things straight, I'd be looking at a good fifty years in the slammer, and I'd have never gotten to see my dear Hannah graduate with her business degree to carry on our family’s financial legacy."
            Mr. Shamblin couldn't wait to recount his success with the Trust Law Firm. "Before I called Mr. Trust,” he says. “I was a hardened crook, or so I thought. They used to call me ‘old sticky-fingers Shamblin’ because a little extra cash always seemed to stick to my fingers after every transaction. It was all fun and games until the Chief of Police decided to open up an investment account.”
            Mr. Shamblin sighs. “I'd gotten myself into a lot of binds over the years, but it wasn't until the Chief of Police investigated his account that I realized just what a bind I was in. The cops busted me for embezzlement, put me in handcuffs, and shipped me off to prison.  Things looked pretty grim. Then, one afternoon, I saw Trust’s ad on TV in the recreation room and used my one-call-a-day to get a hold of the fellow. If I hadn't made that call, I might still be wasting away behind bars."
            Don't let your bust stay a bust. Call Winier Trust before this happens to you.
            "I was absolutely certain I was guilty,” says Mr. Shamblin, “but, by the time Winier Trust was finished with my case, I had literally no idea how that two million dollars had gotten into my account.”

            Don’t waste another day fretting. Call the Winier Trust Law Firm to set up your private consultation today. Not sure where to begin? Pick up one of the firm's  pamphlets to learn how you can get the jump on all the injustice in your life, and turn "on your case" to "in their face.” With Mr. Trust’s caring guidance, you’re well on the way to feeling more entitled than ever before (a feeling you deserve)! With your legal future at stake, you can’t afford not to do this for yourself and for your loved ones.

            Call Trust today.

            And remember that “Justice Served,” backwards (minus two letters and with most of the vowels and consonants changed) spells “Winier Trust.”

"OK Museum" by Eleanor Bennett

No comments:

Post a Comment