Just kidding. Nearly forgot we included our first fan fiction, written by our buddy Christopher Kayser, in the issues after the bios, and on our Facebook page. But you can see it here, too. And YOU can write fan fiction as well!
Coo Coo For Toucan
"Right then, I rid myself of this weird" said Toucan Bob as the other birds paused from pecking rocks. They looked at him with glazed eyes akin to those of college freshman after their first party. Toucan Bob flapped his wings, dropped a bomb on a passing rat, and flew into the forest. A minute, or an hour passed, and the stoned birds stared, then slowly went back to beating themselves stupid.
From the nest of coconut trees came the sound of hammers, electric drills, and many other things stolen from humans stupid enough to get stranded on the small island (yes, they are on an island, pay attention). And then, with the sound of a cat being beaten against a rug, there was a caw of success from Toucan Bob. Without hesitation, or applause, Toucan Bob grabbed his creation: three coconuts and a banjo connected by a mess of industrial nails, glue, and organic material best left unsaid. Toucan Bob dropped his creation into the bay and crawled into it. With the squeak of hungry rats, the banjo started to squirm back and forth like a sick version of a fish's tail, and like said sick fish, the horrible amalgamation flipped sideways and floated out into the ocean. After a while, out of sheer pity, the ocean finally let the abomination sink and Toucan Bob got to see under the ocean, that is until a moray eel bit his head off.
And that’s why you should never eat pancakes while dancing with jellyfish.
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