Today is Monday and I am glad it is not still Sunday. Yesterday was such a bad day and I need this bus ride to do my Deep Thinking and sort it all out inside my brain. Eduardo did not cause any more problems, in fact, he was quiet almost the whole rest of the day and even played checkers with Fat Bertha, which is her favorite thing in the world to do. Poor Fat Bertha, she is really, really fat, but I do not think people should call her that. Mommy told me that it is mean to make fun of someone when they cannot help being the way they are and I do not think Fat Bertha can help being fat. She is so big, though, that she cannot fit in a regular chair and she has to sit on the couch in front of the table when she plays checkers. She takes the same bus as me and people stare at her when she gets on and that makes me feel sorry for her. I know that they stare at me, too, but not as bad as they stare at poor Fat Bertha. It was Fat Bertha that caused the problems yesterday, but I am not mad at her because it was not her fault. Fat Bertha has what Miss Mancini calls “seizures” and she had a really bad one right after supper, when she was playing checkers, which made me even sadder because she never finished the game and playing checkers is her favorite thing in the world to do. All the others were gone to their Mommy’s house, but Eduardo and I never go because my mommy and daddy are dead now because of a truck and Eduardo’s mommy will not talk to him anymore. So it was just me and Eduardo and Fat Bertha and Miss Mancini and Mr. Grayson.
“Oh my God, there she goes,” I heard Mr. Grayson say and I looked over and Fat Bertha was falling on the floor and shaking really bad. There were checkers all over the floor and Fat Bertha was even laying on some and she was shaking really bad. She was shaking so bad that she made the bookcase fall over and some of the stuff fell on her and some fell on the floor and broke. Mr. Grayson used the phone while Miss Mancini tried to hold Fat Bertha down so she wouldn’t hurt herself. Eduardo and I just sat together on the other couch and Eduardo held me real tight because I was shaking, but I wasn’t having a seizure like Fat Bertha, I was just shaking because I was so scared. I closed my eyes when the men came in, they scared me really bad, they were so noisy and it seemed like they took up the whole room and that there was not enough room for me. When they left, they took Fat Bertha with them and Miss Mancini left too, so that just left me and Eduardo and Mr. Grayson, so I finally felt like there was enough room for me.
Mr. Grayson is mean and he is also lazy. He always makes us do work and hardly ever does any himself and after the men left, he stayed in his chair like a lazy person and told me and Eduardo to pick up the mess that Fat Bertha had left all over the living room. We had a hard time putting the bookcase back on the wall but lazy Mr. Grayson just sat there and did not get up to help. Eduardo told me to pick up the checkers and that he would put the stuff back on the bookcase, which I did because Eduardo is smart and always knows the best way to do things. I was picking up the checkers when I heard this most awful noise. I turned around and Eduardo was holding the snow globe his mother had given him. But it wasn’t the snow globe that was making the awful noise, it was Eduardo. He was looking at the ceiling but he wasn’t saying words, he was crying really, really loud. He was crying because the snow globe was broke. His crying got louder and louder and it finally made lazy Mr. Grayson get out of his chair. He grabbed Eduardo and I could tell there would be a bruise and then he started shaking him.
“Shut up, you little freak!” he yelled, but I do not think Eduardo even heard him, even though Mr. Grayson was shaking him it was like Eduardo couldn’t think about anything but the snow globe, it was like Eduardo was broken too.
“Listen to me, retardo,” Mr. Grayson said, even though Eduardo is not retarded, he is very smart. “It’s broken, accept it, what’s done is done.” But Eduardo kept crying and looking at the ceiling.
But I know one thing, and that is that you cannot cry forever no matter how sad you are and after a while Eduardo stopped crying and Mr. Grayson let go of him and then he told us to just go to our rooms, go to our rooms, he was sick of the sight of us. I laid in my bed all evening after that and tried to think of nice things to think about so maybe the nice thoughts would push the bad thoughts like Fat Bertha shaking and Eduardo holding the broke snow globe and crying to the ceiling out of my mind. I finally decided to think about Dr. Bill and how he came to my birthday party and I thought those thoughts until I fell asleep.
Sometimes my mommy would go shopping and I would be left alone with my daddy. I always hoped that Daddy would play dolls with me or maybe he would say we could watch cartoons together, but he never did. He did what he called his naptime. As soon as Mommy left, he would tell me it was his naptime and he would tell me to be real quiet while he was on the couch. So what I would do was to get my dolls and play with them behind the couch where he could not see me, but I would still be close to him. I did not talk to my daddy, but I was still happy because he was on the couch in front of me. But one day it did not matter that I was being quiet because this man and this lady knocked on our door and Daddy had to stop his naptime and get up to answer it.
The man and the lady were dressed alike, but they did not look alike. The man was real big and had a mean look, like Mr. Grayson. But the lady was a lot shorter and I decided I liked her better because her face was kind. I saw them, but I do not think they saw me because they didn't say anything to me, only to Daddy. I listened really hard because they were talking about my friend Dr. Bill. I could not understand all of what they were saying, but I did understand they were asking about my birthday party, which was very confusing because why would a man and a lady I never saw before want to know about my party? And then Daddy started lying and I wanted to say something but I didn’t because even if he wasn’t on the couch, it was still his naptime and I knew I had to be quiet. Daddy told the man and the lady that Dr. Bill did not come to my party, and that was the lie because he did. He stayed a long time and paid a lot of attention to me and I know he was at the party but Daddy kept saying he was sure, that Dr. Bill was never here. Then the man said that a lady had been hurt real bad but Dr. Bill told them he did not hurt her because he couldn't, he was at my party. And Daddy said sorry, but he wasn’t. The kind lady said are you sure, we do not want to put the wrong man in jail and then Daddy lied again and said he was sure.
I did not know what to do. I did not know what to do. I did not understand about the jail part or how a lady got hurt real bad, but I did know that it was important that I tell the big man and the short lady that Daddy was lying. I had to say something even though it was naptime. The man and the lady were walking to the door and telling Daddy thank you for his time when I realized I could not use my placid personality now, I had to do something.
The thing that I did was to run around the back of the couch and run up to the man and the lady. They both looked really surprised to see me. I grabbed the lady's sleeve and said “For your information, for your information!” I said it really loud because I was scared and confused. The big man did not like me to do this and he moved my hand away from the lady’s sleeve and said “Hey!” Daddy grabbed me and held me close to him and was telling them not to listen to me because I was retarded. Part of me got my feelings hurt that Daddy would say that, but the main part of me just wanted the man and the lady to understand about Dr. Bill being at my party, so I just kept saying “for your information”, hoping that if I said it enough they would listen to me. But they didn’t. They just left and I never saw Dr. Bill again.
So now it is Monday morning and I am on the bus to go to work. Fat Bertha is not here, and I hope she is somewhere where people will not stare at her. Eduardo is having one of his noisy days and I wish so much for him to be quiet because I really need to do my Deep Thinking. I need to think about Dr. Bill and the wrong man in jail. I need to think of a way to fix things. But I worry it is too late for things to be fixed. I worry that it is like Eduardo's snow globe. It is broke and what's done is done.