I Need A Guru, Karen Berg-Raftakis

I’ve known I was not my body for quite some time.
I just never realized that likewise, I was not my mind.
This is difficult for me to come to terms with
because my mind has been everything to me.
It’s where my brilliant intellect resides,
and of course, my sparkling personality.
Oh yes, and my great wit as well,
and if you couldn’t already tell,
my overwhelming humility.
If I lost all of that, wouldn’t it be hell?

****

So what am I, if not my mind?
Won’t I be bored if I’m not thinking?
What will I do with myself, if I stop
consistently worrying and giving
my well-constructed opinions?
Would life be even worth living?

****               

Although, I’ve felt compelled recently
to wean myself off a lot of TV.
I’m deleting one show at a time off my DVR.
I’ve also pulled the classic rock out of my car
and replaced It with a Zen meditation CD.
Flutes and wind chimes have invaded my Ipod.
I’m constructing an environment of positivity.
I really do feel more relaxed,
but how long will this feeling last?

****

Because my Ego actually has never stopped talking.
It’s getting pretty cranky and is already balking
at what I’ve been subjecting it to lately.
So please excuse me
if my mood is kind of shitty,
but it’s been hours since I’ve judged someone,
so c’mon now, have some pity.

****

I’m tired of listening to music without words.
My friends and family think I’m absurd.
I woke up this morning and begun
complaining about everything under the sun.
My resolve is weakening, and I’m really afraid
I don’t stand a chance and the Ego has won.

****

It would all be worth it if I experienced some never-ending bliss.
I think I need a Guru, but the only people who I deem “worthy”
of the task at hand, are unavailable because they’re famous.
Otherwise, they live in India or some other far off place,
while the wisest people around me are too caught up in the race.
Some are obsessed with money regrettably,
while others are struggling with vanity.
All in all, they’re just too attached to the body,
so they’re not quite there yet, spiritually.

****

I know, I know - the true Guru is inside me,
but I’m not enlightened enough to find it unfortunately,
and so I’d appreciate it Spirit, God, whoever you are
if you would pretty please send me one promptly.